We Broke the Chain

Breaking the Chain 0151br-logo-web


“This is my favorite blog” I’ll be back next week JJ

One out of three women will be beaten or raped in her lifetime. There’s something terribly wrong with humanity!
Fact! We all come from women!
Fact! No means No!
Fact! Women are equal to Men!

A female friend of mine who knows that my daughter was raped recommended the “Break the Chain” dance, a worldwide event held on Valentine’s Day, inviting women and men to DANCE, RISE UP, AND DEMAND an end to this violence. And what better day than the day of LOVE to do so. So I said YES! I am going to dance for my daughter!
The day my oldest daughter was born I felt something different inside of me. It’s as though I got a feminine side and became more aware and understood the female.

If my first-born is reading this blog, please know that I feel more love for you than even the day you were born. It’s an out-of-this-world kind of love. I don’t want you to hurt anymore, and I want you to let go of the pain you secretly carry because you’re not alone. And I want to let go of the anger and guilt that I have been carrying for years and finally heal as well.

At the event, the smiles and energy of those beautiful and fearless women were inspiring. They stood up for themselves and their sisters around the world.

As a father and a victim of abuse myself, I know that each one of those women went through hell. And I saw my daughter in every one of them. They gave me hope and they made their point that nothing is going to keep them down.

When we all started to dance, sing and cheer to the “break the chain” song, we all became “ONE,” lifting our soul to be healed and to create a better life.

It was so moving and powerful that we all danced again!

As I was leaving, I was interviewed for the documentary that’s being made about the event, “She’s Beautiful BUT she’s Angry.” I usually get nervous doing that kind of thing, but I didn’t. My heart did all of talking!

Special Note: My daughter is earning her master’s degree this coming May and has been accepted to Harvard to do her doctorate. I’m very proud of her. She broke the chain!

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47 Responses to We Broke the Chain

  1. Wonderful story and it’s a shame what women have to go through.

  2. Absolutely fantastic testimony!

    Your daughter is an inspiration to many and so are you sir! God bless you both for your preserverence and courage!

  3. Wow, this was truly an inspiration to me. Your daughter must make you so proud!

  4. aFrankAngle says:

    Wonderful post as I could feel the impact of your past. Congratulations to your daughter!

  5. jeb blogra says:

    J J, …Dimelo?
    Thanks for visiting my blog… However, your blog & your life is truly something else! Something that I only watched on TV. Thx again…

  6. Beautiful insight and wonderful story. I am happy for you and your daughter – and all of us who have “broken the chain” – and for all who have the power to “break the chain” but are unaware that they have the power to do so. PEACE-

  7. minisculegiants says:

    The world is a better place for what you’re doing. Thank you so much.

  8. cate b says:

    Wonderful words from a loving father. Thank you for sharing.

  9. This is a beautiful post. I’m sorry for the pain your daughter has been through. You are a loving father. I wish I knew why bad things happen to good people in this world, but more than that I wish you and your family all the best things in life for the future.

  10. keladelaide says:

    Thanks for following my blog. There is a history of abuse of women in my family too. The chain has been broken now, thankfully. I don’t think the ‘Break the Chain’ dance happens here in Australia. Something to ponder…..

  11. sakuraandme says:

    Hi and thanks for checking out my blog! What a great post. I too was a victim to rape. Well actually I no longer say that. I now refuse to be a victim any longer! Great post. Hugs Paula xxx

  12. Turtlemoon Tarot says:

    Wonderful! Having,”been there” this is lovely to read, from someone that understands instead of being rude. More people should think like you!

  13. Amanda Wood says:

    Hi J J. Thanks for stopping by my blog and following me. I can see already, just by reading this one post, that you are an amazing person, and your daughter (s) must be, too. Keep on breaking those chains that hold anyone back!

  14. Telene says:

    A beautiful post! Thank you so much for sharing JJ.

  15. You are amazing person, parent, and human being. You’re daughter is an incredible woman. We need to bring end to the abuse on women, the disrespect. I wish I had the courage to let my parents know about my assaults.

  16. Your writing has great depth of spirit. You seem to see inside the people and events in your life and come to loving acceptance. Thank you for following my blog. As you may have read I am a writer of theological fiction. My novels examine the same human problems you write about in a more realistic fashion: faith, sexuality, religious strife, addiction, afterlife, abuse, etc. I will enjoy catching up on your previous posts.

  17. Roma says:

    You are more of a man than many I have met before. Hopefully your son will heal as will your relationship with him. Congratulations on being the change in your family. You will make a difference.

  18. very inspiring I hope other women, can find hope in this message and begin healing.

  19. I hope other women get inspired from the experience of others, and with the support and love start their healing.

  20. Loved this post!! I’m glad your heart got the better of your nerves. 🙂

  21. thank you for your inspiring story as a father, rape happens all too often in our world and we need more men to stand up and protest… and thanks for deciding to follow my blog, my story is not the same as yours but I hope we can all share and heal each other through our sharing – the Internet is a wonderful place when we talk this way.

  22. Fiona Fire says:

    Beautiful story.

    When teaching about rape, “yes means yes” seems a better message than “no means no.” Teaching young men about enthusiastic consent ensures that rape is never a tragic misunderstanding. Lots of guys who think “no means no,” might continue even when a woman in unresponsive, drunk, freezing up, or clearly uncomfortable.

  23. grbxxenormyn says:

    best of luck to you and your daughter always.

  24. Helen White says:

    In a very personal way, responding as a chain-breaker like your daughter, someone who rose out of it and became stronger, I hear you with a big smile on my face and am really grateful to know there are people out there doing this together and as a force, not just in the long and lonely way that was my journey. What I’ve learned along the way, I’ve taught to my daughter – and yes, there is a ‘feminine side’ to you (there is to all men, however deeply buried its become in our world) and your daughter allowed it to show itself – its the ‘sacred feminine’, that thing that’s been out of kilter in our culture for far too long now and its rising, slowly and surely, in all of us, and with it things are finally changing for the better!! Thanks for showing me how much that’s already happening.

  25. triodia says:

    Thanks for this post!
    It is really great to read this and to see how much you love your daughter!

  26. What a wonderful post! I honor you in so many ways, for breaking the chain and for being an advocate for women, and for your daughter. Good work.

  27. KatieLee714 says:

    Reblogged this on ConsequentlyShameless and commented:
    Powerful story.

  28. Pingback: We Broke the Chain -One out of Three women will be Beaten or raped in her Lifetime | misebogland

  29. bethymanch says:

    Really touching story and I’m very sorry for the suffering you and your daughter have suffer. Hopefully things are looking up and you are very lucky to have eachother! Great blog btw

  30. missmin says:

    Reading your words gives me hope that there are indeed, good men and women still left in this world. It’s tragic that women have to fight so hard for that which is, essentially, their birthright. Respect. Equality. Empowerment. I’m tackling the subject of sexual violation on my own blog, hoping to draw a few threads together about the way we’re conditioned to think and feel, and how this keeps women in fear and oppression. It’s so encouraging to know that there are men on our side, as this is one of the major keys to healing and harmony. I’ll keep in touch with your blog often as it touches me deeply. Thank you.

  31. Great story and very inspiring. Wonderful news about your daughter, it says a lot about you.

  32. marymtf says:

    JJ, that strong daughter of yours is succeeding despite what has happened to her. That’s kudos to her, but I suspect that if she is a strong person it has also partly to do with the way she has been raised.

  33. Pingback: We Broke the Chain | allabouthimandher

  34. todayiprayed says:

    You are breaking chains and showing her how to do it. Fabulous. God bless you and your family this day! Break those chains and change your whole family lineage!

  35. godanalytics says:

    Thanks for the post. I wish more could be done to help men and women to mutually respect each other sexually. I’m particularly disturbed by media (music videos) (movies) that tend to glorify the domination of women as if it’s something they can enjoy. I believe that women CAN and DO enjoy being dominated at times, when and because they feel the need to please a man, but if they truly felt that the man loved them no matter how much they submit themselves, they would be happier. But the ultimate sexual pleasure that is based on a healthy view of self, to me seems to need a greater degree of mutual consent…..not just the woman playing a particular role so that she can satisfy a man whose identity is tied up in how he can “command” a woman. Even women music artists now making videos are trying to turn the tides, by showing their domination of men, throwing them down to their sexual body parts, like, NOW, have your way with me as I WANT YOU TO. But in reality, THIS is not healthy either.

  36. Pingback: Your Questions About Training A Catahoula | Cat Training

    • J J Gonzalez says:

      Hi, I totally understand your stress. If you can afford to take the pet with you in the cabin, please do. If the animal is oversized and you don’t have to cross oceans, consider driving to your destination. I plan in the future to have a website/app telling passengers the safest way to travel with their love ones…….The baggage handler

  37. Hi JJ, Thanks for writing what you do. Your daughter will go far with a supporting father like you. She already has. Thank you for visiting my blog, following me, and liking my post ‘guest author – Betty Webb.’ I wish you the best in finding the right agent.

  38. Pingback: Very Inspiring Blogger Award & Always Here if you Need me Award – I’d Like To Thank My odd/funny Life for That. | Reflections of a Single Girl

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